Finding Yourself

        I am currently reading Confessions of a Closet Catholic by Sarah Darer Littman. In the book the main character, Justine, struggles with her identity. She doesn't know who or what she's supposed to be. Issues and themes I've noticed through out the book include religion, sibling problems, mother/daughter relationships, and love. One big issue that I've been thinking a lot about is "finding yourself."
      First of all, Justine is unhappy being Jewish, and she wants to explore other religions. She tries out being Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, and then settles on being Christian, like her best friend, Mac. She goes to Mass with her, and secretly practices confession and communion in her closet. When her mom finds out that she wants to be Catholic, she is upset because Justine's not practicing the religion she was born with. Justine must then decide what and who she should pray to, and who she's meant to be.
      Another thing that goes along with the theme "finding yourself" is that Justine feels very uncomfortable being in her family. She feels that her mom loves her older sister Helena more than her and that her dad loves her little brother Jake more than her. She feels trapped being the middle child, like there's no one to listen to her. I would feel the same way if I was in that position. I think it's important for parents to give an equal amount of attention to each of their children, so they don't feel jealous of another sibling.
      Someone who helps Justine "find herself" is her grandmother, also known as Bubbe. She is the only one that Justine feels she can relate to. After Bubbe has a stroke, Justine visits her room every day and worries about her. Justine looks up to Bubbe, because she knows she is very strong, since she survived the Holocaust when she was younger. Justine's grandmother is her mentor, her role model, and the only one who really listens to her. When Bubbe dies, Justine must find the courage in herself to make it through life, following her grandma's wisdom and advice.
       I have not finished the book yet, but I know that Justine has learned more about herself so far. After Bubbe had her stroke, Justine learns to value the important things in her life, like her friends, and most of all, Bubbe. When Bubbe dies, she notices how short life is, and that she should live it feeling comfortable with herself. I hope that by the end of the book Justine finds who she wants to be, whether that means converting to Christianity or staying Jewish.